An Ode to Brunch

It’s hard to explain why brunch is one of my favorite things. There’s not much that I enjoy more. Brunch is best after a big night. Brunch should be around 1 pm and should be part of a mild hangover cure. It’s best to pick up a coffee on your way to brunch so that you can wait patiently in comfort. You can’t mind a wait for brunch, as you’ll be lingering over your eggs as long as you want and for that privilege you need to be patient of the lingerers who came before you. My favorite brunches combine the sweet and savory. I like a biscuit with jam and eggs Oaxaca. Alternatively, I like some pancakes or French toast with a side of bacon. Whatever you choose, massive quantities are a must. Even more crucial is a veritable buffet of beverages. Coffee is essential and fresh OJ or grapefruit juice is advised. Probably my single favorite thing about brunch is Bloody Marys. I like them as spicy as possible with fresh horseradish and not too much salad garnish in my way. Some of my best days in (hazey) memory are those where I started out with a few bloody marys at brunch and drank them straight through to bed.

Brunch requires long and senseless conversation. You can review the breaks in last nights events and summarize the week’s happenings while you wait for your eggs to arrive, but the topics should quickly move to very mild super powers, the outcome of a hypothetical 1 on 1 between Moses and Carl Malone, or Moses Malone and Moses with the stone tablets, and things of that nature. Brunch in NYC typically involves eating in close quarters, so it’s a good time to break out the lies for the benefit of eavesdroppers. “Yes, I just interviewed for that job in the marketing department at NASA.” “My yoga instructor is offering a new underwater class for those with Scuba certification. I’m on the waiting list.” “I was at Butter last night and I saw Jacob Dylan throw a drink on Rachel Dratch,” “Yes, they served the antiviral salad dressing with the Yak meat.” "I've saved half of what I neeed to get those calf implants." You get the idea.

Brunch is a time for gluttony, and lengthy casual meaningles conversation. Done propely it consumes the better part of a day and prepares you for a golf or football nap.

This blog seems a kindred sprit and has given me plenty of ideas:
http://thebreakfastblog.blogspot.com/2007/01/best-breakfasts-2007.html

Tomorrow I’ll be having brunch with 6 or so of the gals from Team Box. I can’t wait.

In other news, I set up my wireless access in 301, so I can now blog from anywhere in my spacious apartment. Look forward to dispatches from my couch.

I’m watching TV right now and the sports announcer for the AFL game I am watching now just said, “One of the teams is going to lose in all probability anyway…” I suppose it’s comforting to know that sports casters worldwide are mathematicians.

On another channel is Crocodile Dundee 2, which doesn’t inspire the scorn here you would expect.

I went to see the Black Keys this week. The show reminded me of the last time I saw them, where I came to the conclusion that they suck. Unfortunately, I forgot that until I was reminded when they came on stage at the HiFi this Tuesday. It was crowded, hot and boring.

In other news, I still cannot find anyone here who can do my hair. My last attempt took up four hours of my Saturday and resulted in my hair being about an 1/8th of an inch shorter in some areas. After 3 hours in the chair and no noticeable result I was reluctant to ask more of my terrified stylist for fear she would cry.

Mail report: Thanks to Mom for the long lost package and Mara for another postcard. It’s not too late to get recognized here for sending mail. Get in the game!