Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Advice

Last night I attended a ceremony.

One of the "big sisters" Betty is getting married.  All 32 of the family mothers crowded into her house to surprise her.  When she came home from family time at 10:00 PM we were all there.  Betty was so surprised.  She started crying immediately.  From 10:00 PM to 1:00 AM the mothers sang so many traditional songs that they know; maybe 30 different songs.  And they prayed for Betty.  But mostly the offered advice.  The ceremony is a family leaving ceremony where the mother says goodbye to her daughter because she is leaving and gives her advice for a good marriage.  The 'advice' was very traditional: clean a lot, have good hygiene, clean your floor, learn to use a broom, clean your face, give your husband the best pillow, give your husband the best food, a man will stay at home if the house is clean.  (This was translated all for me).  Betty cried the ENTIRE time.  3 hours of bawling.  I am still not sure if that is just what is expected, because it is a sad ceremony, because traditionally a girl would go away and leave her family and the appropriate  expected thing for the bride-to-be is to cry and cry, or if the whole thing was horribly cruel.

I found the whole thing incredible   I had never seen any thing like it.  I was amazed that all these women new and passionately sang so many songs.  I don't think 32 American woman could come up with more than 5 songs they all know. Furthermore, I was shocked that the ceremony was so serious and so sad.  It was NOTHING like a bridal shower.  There was a lot of ordering Betty to set a good example and be a good girl, and mostly to clean a lot.  And she cried and cried.  Here's a dark wack photo of the event (my iPhone is pretty poor in low light, but you still maybe get the idea):



This photo from the restroom at La Galette bakery & cafe has some pretty good advice as well, in my opinion:




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