There are a couple more Olympic hockey posts up at the Stranger here.
This has been the most prolific month for 'Spondence since its early days. I think there are several factors contributing to this. One, I've been traveling less as I've been working in NYC some and ultimate is in the off-season, so I have more time for you. Also, writing for the Stranger has made me feel like I need to set the record straight about what is really going on in my life somewhere else on the internet.
Last night at Marino's birthday Ali reminded me of this near-perfect literal video interpretation, which I've posted before here, but I just watched it again and laughed out loud and you should too. There's nothing wrong with reruns if they are awesome.
Also, you know I love viewing gruesome sports injuries and yesterday's hit by Ryan Shawcross on my beloved Arsenal's Aaron Ramsey is one of the worst I've seen in Premiere League, though this you tube clip really does not do it justice.
Today I went to the park to run a fartlek pyramid and I could not make myself do it alone. I did 10 hard minutes again instead. I thought about it and I would rather get in a barrel of snakes than run that workout. I would rather you put that mask from 1984 with the rats that eat your face on me, so go ahead. I will not run that workout alone. So there.
My Hoyas are wildly inconsistent so I can't be too shocked about the loss to Notre Dame and this weekend was no better for U of K. Syracuse is really scaring me as we near the Big East tourney.
Showing posts with label Stranger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stranger. Show all posts
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Saving your life, only so I can control it
Apparently, I have become the man. Look out. I am now the New York City Metro Sectional Coordinator for the women’s division for the UPA. (Thanks a lot Dorko!)
I’m a known UPA loather. They are well established as consistently taking the ultimate out of ultimate, being pedants for pedantic’s sake and generally not supporting the members. I think you remember when they banned Ali and Amanda for ALL OF NATIONALS for what they agreed was a typo. They even suspended their own rule, I. C:
“Captain’s Clause: A game may be played under any variation of the rules agreed upon by the captains of the teams involved. In tournament play, variations are subject to approval by the event organizer. Such things as game length, field dimensions, number of players and stall count can easily be altered to suit the level of play. Before a game starts, each team designates one captain to represent them in disagreements and arbitration.”
The point of the captain’s clause is that our sport is THE ONLY sport where the players have all the supremacy. Not coaches, not referees or officials. Not jackasses in Boulder. Players. Calling rank with the ‘event organizer’ term about an irrational suspension served only the UPA’s need to be in control and ‘right’.
Not top be outdone, last year those jackasses made the cool kids from Bashing Piñatas play in beaters because a few of the jerseys did not have the same sponsorship on the back. Nice work UPA. You’ve got that Letter of the Law down. Now if you could ever learn the spirit of it.
I think there’s an inherent tension between the core feature of our sport being player supremacy and an overarching body making decisions. The UPA is definitely a necessary evil. It’s nice to have insurance. Someone has to organize the national qualifications. But just like politics, egomaniacs that like to be in charge are the ones who run for positions and then act exactly like you would expect.
Anyway, now I’m one of those egomaniacs, but on a local level. Look for me to wield my power with a clenched fist and a bloody disc. I’m thinking Sectionals will be single elimination, losers put to death on the field by the winning team. Might help hold registrations down to a manageable number.
Last Sunday I took an 8-hour CPR and first aid certification course recommended, but not required, for my coaching position. I am ready now, so do not give me an excuse to compress your chest. I learned a lot but here are a few things to keep in mind if you don’t have time to take a course:
1) Get help first. Someone who’s lost consciousness, isn’t breathing or doesn’t have a pulse needs to get to a hospital ASAP. If you are alone, you need to call 911 first.
2) If you know help is on the way, you can try to keep a person’s brain from dieing using rescue breathing and CPR.
3) Give two 1-second breaths into the person’s mouth (after opening the airway and sealing the nose). You’ll see the person’s chest rise.
4) Give 30 hard chest compressions right on the sternum. Pretty fast (a rate of 100 per minute). You need to push way down (2 inches) to actually compress the heart to make blood circulate, so you’ll likely tear the cartilage around the breastbone and maybe break the sternum. That is the least of this person’s problems, so don’t let that stop you.
5) Keep up the cycle of 30 compressions and 2 breaths until real help arrives or it is no longer safe to continue.
This is no alternative for taking the course, but the way I see it, if you are around someone who is not breathing and no one else is better equipped, they are going to die soon, so you might as well try to help. The outcome of trying and doing this wrong won’t be any worse than not trying.
Today we got 17 or so inches of snow. It is pretty out, but has delayed my getting into shape. I was going to try and rally folks on Saturday for a cross-training and ACL tear prevention session but something tells me that more than a foot of snow on the ground is going to put a damper on attendance.
Also a problem is that usual support structure is not in place. Dorko moved to Philadelphia after she finished laundering drug money for the Mexican drug cartels . Ali played on her plantar fasciitis too long in cleats and has been recovering FOREVER. P-Funk hurt her hammies at Kaimana. Kate has some cocktail of hamstring injury and Sciatica that threatens to sideline her for too long as well. Mara is in Rwanda. That is no fair. I cannot do this on my own. I need you there to watch me or I will slack.
All of this is to begin the long process of making excuses. I did a hill workout in deep sleet yesterday. I ran the Prospect Park hill stoplight to stoplight 6 times. It sucked and I ran slow. Though I told myself I was going to run each of them ‘all out’ I ran them all in about exactly the same time which, of course, means I was dogging it. If you run hard, your times increase. If you don’t run hard, you’ll stay the same, which is a complete waste of time.
I had the exact same time on the first 3: 60 seconds on the first part to the fire hydrant (where slacker slumlord Jesse begins his hill) and 2:40 total. All 3 exactly the same, to the second. On the fourth one I passed a guy so I had to run hard to keep that up, and finished 2:30. On the fifth one I did the universal 'next to last one let up' and ran a 2:55. On the 6th I think I have the Hawthorne effect to thank that I did the 6 reps at all, because I was all alone in that park, and if I didn’t have you to tell about it, I probably would just have run home. and final one I tried to psyche myself up as much as possible and ran, you guessed it, a 2:40.
Here we are on Day 18 of the month-off drinking. So far so good. It’s nice to be one the second half. It has mostly been annoying to hang out in bars with my friends and not drink. Saturday is Marino’s birthday and I’ll be there for a while so maybe I’ll try O’Doules.
Maybe you don’t need to know about every one, but I’ve had another Stranger post. You can see all of my posts here sorted by author.
Tonight I’ll write some kind of preview for the gold medal game. Oh Canada!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Open about the Process...
You have Brendan to blame for encouraging me to record a video response to this Stranger slog question.
(British Knight, Sorry it was 4 days late. I was a bit tied up...)
My reaction is such a classic case of overkill, with a touch of overreach.
For those of you who don't click links (Hi Mom!) the gist is this:
"Is the Super Bowl a legitimate sporting interests for many, or is it just an example of everything that is wrong with the USA?"
First I wrote out this response:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Those of you not up on your Tebow might read this to get some background.
Then, I took a stab at recording my video response. I think writing it out first actually made it worse. I tried to record it a couple of times. It was really annoying. I just kept trying to imagine sitting across a bar from Jesse and discussing this stuff I rant about all the time, but watching myself on my MacBook was really distracting. This is what I finally posted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfHM1hcKY0s
The finished product comes across much less funny than I was going for and much more moralizing and Conscendo.
I hate it of course, but I won't bother to try again (like some terrible college papers I wrote, I'm not proud of the end product, but I'll be damned if I'm going through that again.) It's interesting when two ingrained traits but up against each other. I'm vain, and I'd prefer to look smart and well spoken (instead of slurring Norb Turver and watching with, "Baited Breasts?"). But I'm lazy enough not to try again. And (surprising me) paramount here is my unwillingnes to fold.
Anyone who's played hold'em with me is nodding right now. The right answer might be to bail, but I wanted to at least try for Brendan, who, I like to think, wanted me to try for me. I'm lazy enough not to try hard enough to get it right, but not lazy enough to bail entirely. I guess I'll just have to fess:
That is me. Nervous, alone in my Ft. Greene apartment, just because the green light on my MacBook is blinking at me. Luckily for me, it's the four of our's little secret.
Also, based on this effort, he might retract it, but if he's too polite, I'll be live blogging the Super Bowl with Brendan and some other straight Gs.
Commenters: Do you like the written version better than the live version? Does that mean I'm better off writing, or should I just shut it down?
Look out Stewart Scott, this is just the beginning.
(British Knight, Sorry it was 4 days late. I was a bit tied up...)
My reaction is such a classic case of overkill, with a touch of overreach.
For those of you who don't click links (Hi Mom!) the gist is this:
"Is the Super Bowl a legitimate sporting interests for many, or is it just an example of everything that is wrong with the USA?"
First I wrote out this response:
Listen:
I'm gonna have to throw my lot in with the both answer. Yes and yes, the Superbowl is a legitimate sporting interest and also one of the many signs of our declining US Hegemony
The Superbowl is the tail end of a football dependency reduction program that seems carefully laid out by a methadone clinic official. The entire football season culminates in two wonderful weekends where first there are four meaningful wildcard games where heroes rise and anything is possible. followed next weekend by four divisional playoffs where we are reminded both that there is a reason that those teams earned the bye, and that Norv Turner is who we thought he was.
At the end of that Sunday, we are tweaking. We can’t fly closer to the sun. The gradual weaning begins. The following weekend is just two conference championship games. Then there’s the long two week wait for an overhyped game that more often than not is a blowout, and is really only interesting if you’re a fan of one of the remaining teams.
The actual game is pretty lame, but the promise of one more hit is essential at the end of the conference championships or hard core fans like myself would riot like Walmart ran out of Blu Rays on Black Friday..
The two weeks of hype is perfect too. It’s long enough that I have to really focus on college basketball and start asking questions like is John Wall getting all the hype while DeMarcus Cousins is doing all the work? Do work son!
On the other hand, for those of you who can’t tell a field goal from a free throw, and never want to be able to, the SuperBowl offers you something as well. The chance to get bogged down in the crowd favorite Abortion debate. In one of the planned commercials, Tim Tebow* is going to explain how his mother chose to have him against medical advice. Cincinnati fans who traveled to New Orleans this year for the Sugar Bowl (and pretty much the rest of the SEC) lament her decision. Tim, no one is trying to make abortions mandatory, and I think going out of your way to cast dispersion on women who might make that choice in life of the mother, health of the mother situations is despicable and inexcusable. Those women are already in an incredibly difficult, personal situation and drumming up public disapproval helps no one.
That, and usually there are some commercials with monkeys. Monkeys. I'm gonna set the Monkey sitings under/over at 3 and half and watch expectantly.
Later on.
I'm gonna have to throw my lot in with the both answer. Yes and yes, the Superbowl is a legitimate sporting interest and also one of the many signs of our declining US Hegemony
The Superbowl is the tail end of a football dependency reduction program that seems carefully laid out by a methadone clinic official. The entire football season culminates in two wonderful weekends where first there are four meaningful wildcard games where heroes rise and anything is possible. followed next weekend by four divisional playoffs where we are reminded both that there is a reason that those teams earned the bye, and that Norv Turner is who we thought he was.
At the end of that Sunday, we are tweaking. We can’t fly closer to the sun. The gradual weaning begins. The following weekend is just two conference championship games. Then there’s the long two week wait for an overhyped game that more often than not is a blowout, and is really only interesting if you’re a fan of one of the remaining teams.
The actual game is pretty lame, but the promise of one more hit is essential at the end of the conference championships or hard core fans like myself would riot like Walmart ran out of Blu Rays on Black Friday..
The two weeks of hype is perfect too. It’s long enough that I have to really focus on college basketball and start asking questions like is John Wall getting all the hype while DeMarcus Cousins is doing all the work? Do work son!
On the other hand, for those of you who can’t tell a field goal from a free throw, and never want to be able to, the SuperBowl offers you something as well. The chance to get bogged down in the crowd favorite Abortion debate. In one of the planned commercials, Tim Tebow* is going to explain how his mother chose to have him against medical advice. Cincinnati fans who traveled to New Orleans this year for the Sugar Bowl (and pretty much the rest of the SEC) lament her decision. Tim, no one is trying to make abortions mandatory, and I think going out of your way to cast dispersion on women who might make that choice in life of the mother, health of the mother situations is despicable and inexcusable. Those women are already in an incredibly difficult, personal situation and drumming up public disapproval helps no one.
That, and usually there are some commercials with monkeys. Monkeys. I'm gonna set the Monkey sitings under/over at 3 and half and watch expectantly.
Later on.
* Those of you not up on your Tebow might read this to get some background.
Then, I took a stab at recording my video response. I think writing it out first actually made it worse. I tried to record it a couple of times. It was really annoying. I just kept trying to imagine sitting across a bar from Jesse and discussing this stuff I rant about all the time, but watching myself on my MacBook was really distracting. This is what I finally posted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfHM1hcKY0s
The finished product comes across much less funny than I was going for and much more moralizing and Conscendo.
I hate it of course, but I won't bother to try again (like some terrible college papers I wrote, I'm not proud of the end product, but I'll be damned if I'm going through that again.) It's interesting when two ingrained traits but up against each other. I'm vain, and I'd prefer to look smart and well spoken (instead of slurring Norb Turver and watching with, "Baited Breasts?"). But I'm lazy enough not to try again. And (surprising me) paramount here is my unwillingnes to fold.
Anyone who's played hold'em with me is nodding right now. The right answer might be to bail, but I wanted to at least try for Brendan, who, I like to think, wanted me to try for me. I'm lazy enough not to try hard enough to get it right, but not lazy enough to bail entirely. I guess I'll just have to fess:
That is me. Nervous, alone in my Ft. Greene apartment, just because the green light on my MacBook is blinking at me. Luckily for me, it's the four of our's little secret.
Also, based on this effort, he might retract it, but if he's too polite, I'll be live blogging the Super Bowl with Brendan and some other straight Gs.
Commenters: Do you like the written version better than the live version? Does that mean I'm better off writing, or should I just shut it down?
Look out Stewart Scott, this is just the beginning.
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