Home on the Range

Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry it's been a while. Things have been busy with work.

Minneapolis is really cold, as expected. I like living in the Sheraton, watching cable and eating room service. As always, my hotel room us much larger than my home, so it seems pretty plush. I fly home on Thursday nights and the trip into LGA is always delayed and fills me with rage, but that's part of the deal, I guess.

Nationals at the end of October was great. Ambush lost most of our games but we still had a great time. There's no scrubs at nationals so any win is respectable. We came in the 16th seed and left in 14th place so, we did better than expected. We're fired up about next season. We were there over Halloween and I spent a fair amount of time in my costume, but so far no photos of that have surfaced. (If someone sends me one I'll post it here.)

I'm at my parents house in rural Maryland for the Thanksgiving Holiday. (I only narrowly escaped being at the Magic Kingdom with my sister and nieces.) We had a huge Thanksgiving feast (turkey, stuffing, asparagus, oyster casserole, mashed potatoes, grapefruit salad, and cranberry sauce) for just the three of us.

My parents have added to their domestic 'ark' which previously had 2 female golden retrievers, 2 female house cats and 2 male horses. We now also have 2 female mini-horses. Mini-horses are like big dogs that live in a barn and don't fetch.

Some great things of late:

• I've been playing some Little Big Planet. I think it is pretty rad.



• I watch this puppy cam about 6 hours a day. It is the best thing ever.



• My friend Gideon is a talented artist and his blog has some very interesting sketches

I guess it's time to give up on the Eagles. Not sure yet who my playoffs team will be. Maybe the Jets?

In other sports news, I'm excited about the Iverson/Pistons trade, but not that he's wearing #1 now so that Rodney Stuckey can keep the 3. This makes no sense to me. The Hoyas look pretty good so far this season as well, so we'll see how that goes.

Finally, congrats to Tim and Alex who've welcomed newest Rogers baby Rafa to the family. In a surprising turn of events, he's a real cutie.

And the winner is...

Minneapolis. That's right. Not London or China or somewhere in Africa. Minneapolis. Perfect timing too. I guess I better buy a coat...

I'll be up there at least through the end of the year, but likely longer. You know I'll keep you posted. (Pun intended. Help me...)

I fly up there on Sunday after practice and I am dreading the first day of school feeling...

Looming much larger on the horizon is Nationals in Sarasota next week. I'll fly to Tampa on Wednesday. Do keep an eye on the results here. I am really looking forward to it. This weekend will basically be practice and packing.

Went to see TV on the Radio with Stephen and that was a pretty good show. A psychic told me I liked Abraham Lincoln and freaked me out, but maybe he just says that to everyone. Burgers at the Spotted Pig post show.

I was also summoned for Jury duty recently. Man! Let me tell you, if you ever think a process is inefficient, you should compare it to jury duty. I was selected for a jury pool for two trials, but was never placed into the jury box for voir dire so, I never got to tell the judge that as I did not believe in 'facts' or 'reality' it would probably be difficult for me to follow his instructions. I just sat there for two straight days listening to others in the box think of any excuse possible to be excused. One watched too much CSI. One refused to sit on a gun related charge in defense of the second amendment. One woman announced that since the beginning of the voir dire she had developed a strong dislike of the prosecuting attorney and could not possibly be objective.

They asked everyone the same introductory questions: Where they lived and for how long, what level of education, what they did for employment, who else lived in their household and what they did for employment. It was very strange. We are all strangers. This city does not look you in the eye on the subway. Now there you are sitting in a jury box in a room full of 100 strangers telling us all that you've lived in Hell's Kitchen for 12 years. You went to SUNY New Paltz for 2 years and dropped out. You're in between office jobs and supplementing your income with online sales (eBay) and you live alone. I had too look away. All this personal information. It's like when the homeless guy bathes in the fountain. You just can't watch...

And that last question. Most New Yorkers, it seems live alone. I would say 12 out of 18 on each panel, (and I watched 4 but was never called to the box) responded that they had no one else in their household. Everyone answered that differently, "Divorced" "Single Occupant Household" "On my own" and one woman who confessed, "I am alone, totally alone".

I left with a sense that I am one of the least crazy people out there, on average. It seemed to me that everyone in the room was enduring some kind of withdrawal. Is everyone on drugs? Just sit quietly and read the paper. Do not fidget ceaselessly. Do not feel the need to comment on all the proceedings. Do not complain like this is the height of torture. DO NOT try to talk to me and get me to commiserate with you about how terrible this all is, how inconvenienced you are. Just sit still and be quiet you stupid babies!!!!!!! Grrrrr.

Anyway that's over for a few years and I'm off to Scandinavia Camp. Woo woo.

Ambush Ultimate: Courtney Kelly

Ambush Ultimate: Courtney Kelly

We're going to the Dance!

So, it came down to the bitter end, but Ambush is going to nationals. (I'm in the back row, 5th from the left.) Devens was gorgeous and sunny and not even windy both days, though there were a lot of mosquitoes.

We won our pool on Saturday against a good high school team, a bad college team and Sugar Shack, the 5 seed from Vermont. Then we played the #1 v. #4 crossover against Brute Squad and had them even at 9s before losing 15-9. Sunday we beat Hatch, then lost to the Capitals (Go back to Canada!) and had to play Sugar Shack again in the back door game to go for the 4th spot. They were a little tougher on Sunday, but we still finished them off. (Godiva shocked everyone and beat Brute Squad in the finals.) The scores of all the games are here.

Here's me scoring a goal:

I think that is from the Saturday Sugar Shack game, though I'm not sure.







Hillary has more free time now that she is not campaigning as much and she came out to watch the tournament.
She played really well.

Congrats to NY teams Pony (Open) and Puppet Regime (Coed) for qualifying for the trip to Florida as well.

I'll be down in Sarasota Oct 29-Nov 3 so start getting amped now!
See here:
http://club2008.upa.org/team/women

In other news I saw a few minutes of Les Savy Fav at the Williamsburg Music Hall Sunday night and they are insane in a good way.



Also, my mom got some miniature horses. Initially, I was very excited about this. I assumed that they were pocket-sized and could live indoors in a terrarium, like the household deer from that Johnathan Letham novel but I was mistaken. See?

They are more the size of a Saint Bernard, but as far as I can tell, do not fetch and will not bring you whiskey in an avalanche. (Which has me wondering why there aren;t more alcohol delivering dogs these days, that was a real 'value add service' as we say in consulto-speak.)


I was also mistaken in assuming that the miniature horses might serve as a replacement to the full sized horses already in the back yard. No actually, they are a supplement.

Supplemental mini horses. So There.

Stay tuned.

SARASOTA (it is on)

4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS! 4 BIDS!

see:
http://www.upa.org/club/2008_club/2008_fall_wildcards.shtml

Regionals is Oct 12 & 13. Stay tuned. It is an understatement to say that I am fully amped.

Not sure if you've been checking the personals, but it looks like Something About Mary's ex-boyfriend is causing some hurt feelings in the Meadowlands: check it out.

Jets game was pretty fun by the way. Last year of Giants stadium at the Meadowlands. Favre throws no less than 6 TDs and only one INT. Tell your grandkids you knew me, and I went to the game.

If he were only dead, I'm pretty sure Morrissey would be spinning in his grave that NFL Sunday Ticket is using "Every day's like Sunday" as a theme song.

The Ambush fundraiser Slumber Party was 'successful' in so many ways. You can probably find the pics on Picasa and Facebook if you are over 18.

Dallas persists.

All Hail the Mighty State

So it seems that September 24, 2008 is officially, “Launch Your New Web Business Day”. I have two to share with you. Both cool, very different:

My friend Tushar kicked off this new site, http://www.ecomii.com/. , that provides us, the conscious consumers, valuable tips about how to make choices that are more environmentally friendly. The site design does look a little familiar to me, reminding me of a certain health web site we both know well. Hmmmm…

My friend Brandon launched this political advertising hedge site, http://www.centristmessenger.com/default.asp . You can buy an ad for Obama here and it’ll run with “brought to you by Brian Stout” in the copy. Then when the Republicans steal the election again, if Obama doesn’t win you GET YOUR MONEY BACK, which you’ll need, to buy your plane ticket out of the country before the hell fires reign.

When old man McCain kicks it, evangelical Governor Palin will be in charge and I get the sense she is looking forward to The Reckoning to the point of hastening it, if she can.
The onion agrees:
http://www.theonion.com/content/point/point_counterpoint_gov_palin_has
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/kissinger_instructs_palin

Was anyone else bowled over by how articulate Ahmadinejad seems in speeches and on Larry King? Maybe he is just talking about recipes and his female interpreter is the genius, but he sure seems a lot smarter than our President. I’m adding Iran to my places to visit list.

Bush's request for 700 B today went over a little thin for me. Frankly, I’m hoping the dollar devalues to nothing and we can get back to a barter economy. I have some cool shit to trade and eBay and paypal are already the infrastructure we need for this to work. I’ll trade you season 2 of The Wire for an excellent steak dinner and a bottle of Shiraz. See?

This dispatch comes to you from Dallas, where I’m presently staffed. It’s weird. I haven’t been here since 1994 or so. It doesn’t seem to have changed much. I drove past the old house. There were bigger trees out front but it basically looked the same. I drove past R.L. Turner High School which looks similar, but with more additions. There’s a fence around the property that gives off a prison feel. The Tippin’s Pie Pantry where I worked in high school is now a CVS pharmacy. For old time’s sake I went in and demanded a pie, but no dice. I went by Sophia’s grave. That made me feel 16. And sad.

I had dinner with Dennis on Tuesday, which was great. We had real live Tex-Mex which I love, but cannot find properly in NYC, and we discussed all manner of updates including his upcoming direction of the Tempest.

Snap back to reality (NYC):
Ambush won sectionals without a fight, which we always do. Regionals in Devens, MA in October will be another story, but we are amped about the prospects. We have sic new jerseys with lady liberty on the front and back and we look super fly. Also, another Ambush 'fund raiser' is on this weekend. We’ve had cow girls, prom dates, and girl scouts, but get it all ready for this one which may be the rager of them all: Slumber Party!

House guests recap: I had a great time seeing Mama who’s in Mexico now. Ariba! We went to a Mets game and a poetry slam. I didn’t spend quite enough time with Amy & Simon when they were in NYC, but I expect to make that up next year when I visit them in Fiji! Double Fulbright Holla!

This weekend I’m going to see John Madden’s boyfriend Bret Favre play the Arizona Cardinals at Giants stadium. I also have Ambush practice and then I’ll fly back to the Big D. Much further out than that is still hazy but stay tuned.

I saw this great sign today:

I can only assume this was put up when our President was still the Guv’ner of this ‘Mighty State’.

Labor Pains, Labor Day

Hello, dear reader. Now that we've run-off those fair-weather-friends who expect a post more than once a month, we can get back to basics.

When we left off, I was about to head up to Vermont with Ambush for LogJam. Vermont is still beautiful. However, it rained all day, both days on us and we were cold and pruney. Ambush won the tournament (after a couple of massive come-backs) so that was fun. Although, arguably not quite enough fun to justify 16 hours of driving and 16 hours outside in the rain in a weekend.

Shortly after LogJam I had to report to the Chicago suburbs for 3 weeks for new robot training. This time, I'm faculty, We had to work weekends. All the participants are fresh out of university. My job is to wind the key in their back, exorcise any tendencies of original thought and dampen their spirits. Objective achieved. I actually had more fun at school than I expected. I attribute this to the fact that many of the co-faculty and participants were international and I generally prefer the company of non-Americans to Americans.

I also learned what many of you already doubtlessly know: that I speak too quickly, too loudly and too frequently. I am now trying to work on this.

As a 'section room lead' I showed great restraint when i did not hang an 'arbeit mach frie' sign over the doorway.

Following the prison camp, I went with Ambush to beautiful Santa Cruz, California for the very tough, high level Labor Day tournament. We played Fury, Backhoe, Safari, Loose Cannon, Brute Squad and Godiva and lost all 6 games. Ugly. On the upside, we had awesome pickups from the CA area: Gulley, Lisa, Bossa, Puja and Mega it was great to play with you guys. Let me know when you are next in NYC. Also I had incredible burritos. CA does Mexican like you can't find in NYC. Finally, the fields, although in a desert were plush and green (irrigated) and on Mount Olympus. Seriously, the nature of clouds and fog and the view from the fields down to the bay made it seems like we were playing in the clouds. Red eye home was as much fun as you'd expect.

September is crazy house guest month: Seb and Tex, Aussies touring after worlds in Vancouver are staying with me now. Mama will be here this weekend for a week or so. Amy and Simon are also coming up from Caracus for a while. So yay! Fun to see everyone.

What does the future hold? Reply hazy try again later. Here's what I can tell you: Ambush has sectionals and regionals coming up, so once again I'll do that, though both the ankle and hamstring are functioning way below normal. I still haven't seen Sarah, or my parents or sister since returning home, so that is on the agenda.

Work wise, I am still 'unstaffed' and uncertain. I'm working on resolving that. I'll either be staffed in New York (+), London (+++), North Jersey (- - - - - - - - - ), West Africa (+++++++++) or any other conceivable location. Once I figure that out, I'll go there. So there.

10,000 Maniacs

Hey there. Hope all is well. Here's a few odd's and ends.

1) 'Spondence has had more than 10,000 hits now, which is about what google gets per minute I think so we are really in the big time. That is a lot of visits, Mom.
2) Welcome Sawyer Patten Wichman Mayes. Paige is doing fine and we are all glad he has arrived.
3) Last weekend was Wildwood Beach Ultimate Tourney in NJ, this weekend is LogJam in Vermont. I am getting my disc on. My hamstring is protesting loudly.
4) Here's a really old link I meant to post ages ago: These are the photos of my Leaving pick-up day festivities from my last day in Melbourne (June 29). It was a blast and also sad. Thanks to Owen Shepherd for taking and posting these pics. Thanks to everyone to attended. I miss you guys heaps.
5) Even more ancient history is this australian world wide of sports video clip of the nationals tournament I was in in April in Coffs Harbor. Photos of that event are online here: pics.

Work, as always, is nuts and I had better get back to it.

Float Like Gravity

Everything is a Blur. I am making up for 18 months out of the city in one month. Wish me luck. It is still really great to be back. I know you love lists, and I can't be bothered to construct a meaningful narrative here, so here's what I've been up to the past couple weeks:

• All my belongings from Melbourne finally arrived successfully after being shipped. I have unpacked everything and nothing was lost or broken. I am most excited to have Dierdre back. I am glad to say I still fit into 29. ( I was nervous about that after the palace that was 301.)
• I went to see my Dentist Dr. Schwartz after 18 months of no dental care, my longest ever gap. (Sorry no trust for Aussie dentists.) I was convinced he would say that all my teeth had rotted out of my head, but luckily there were STILL NO CAVITIES. (*Proving my moral superiority.)
• After 10 days of begging and waiting Time-Warner set up my high speed internet in 29. Yes, I pay for it now. Not sure why there are no more free hot spots. Also not sure why anyone would make a 24 month commitment to Verizon for a higher monthly fee for DSL than you can get with High Speed Broadband from TW. 24 months? They should give me a diamond ring with that deal. I am very glad to be back connected to the interwebs and even though I am taking a few days 'off' I am working a lot from home.
• I went out to Long Island City to Jax's gorgeous and huge apartment for a Margarita party. Delicious and satisfying. Beautiful rooftop view of Manhattan. It was wonderful to see her again (and Georgia, Devo, Meg, Ali and Dave.) Not to mention Chip's bride Jen Stout-nee-Christ was in town so we all got a chance to hear about the honeymoon.
• I went to my first Gastronauts dinner in 18 months and traveled up to the Bronx for delicious African food and some Malt liquor (BYO). It was great to see Curtiss and Ben again.
• I went to the No Borders tournament in Ottawa Canada with Ambush. It was great to be back with Ambush, even if there were only two players in attendance who were on the team the last time I was there. It is about 9 hours each way with city traffic and summer traffic and we had as pleasant as possible a car trip. The fields were nice and we came 6th place and had a couple of really good games. It was a good weekend.
• After many, many, many attempts I finally caught up with Paige on the phone. She is about to pop. I cannot wait for the arrival of baby boy Wichman-Mayes.

That's the bulk of my updates. This weekend I'm off to Wildwood NJ for the beach tournament with my favorite beach team, the Sex-Cons. I think we may stop on the way down at Atlantic city to make a donation to the poker tables. I'm also going to a Mets game on Thursday during the day so that should be fun.

I'll check back in in another couple of weeks. I'm off to St. Charles, Illinois (nearish to Chicago) for 3 weeks in August to teach an Accenture class and after that I really am not sure where I'll be, but stay tuned here to find out.

NEW YORK CITY

i am home. i am home i am home.

after 2 days of 'additional touring' my luggage is now how as well. i did have to wear the same shirt for 4 days. :(

i have already cleaned 29 extensively, been to a barbecue (happy birthday ali!) and to a yankees/red sox game that went to extra innings (thanks jesse!).

29 is exactly the same. the same graffiti is up in the hallways, shit mountain even has a 'nest' full of hatchlings. the same people are standing around out front smoking cigarettes.

there will be a posting hiatus while i enjoy getting back into the swing of things here. there is so much i still need to do: blue and gold, jones, ambush, schnack, i can't even type the list for the excitement of needing to go do it. it is great to be back. l8r.